Christmas is a time to put your feet up and make time to relax with family. We wanted to bring some festive cheer to brighten up your day before everyone finishes for the Christmas break by sharing our 25-favourite Christmas accounting jokes.

Whilst we can’t guarantee the quality of these jokes, hopefully they will crack a smile and bring some festive cheer to the Winter days. Snow, here goes

1. How do you know when an accountant is on holiday? They don’t wear a tie and come in after 8am

Accountant on Holiday Joke


2. What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.

Accountant with Spreadsheet Joke


3. There are three types of accountants. Those who can count and those who can’t.

3 Types of Accountant Joke


4. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

Tax Joke


5. How can you tell when the head accountant is getting soft? When he actually listens to marketing before saying no.

Head accountant joke


6. What do you call a trial balance that doesn’t balance? A late night.

Trial Balance Christmas Joke


7. Why does Santa like visiting the UK? He can claim Gift Relief.

Gift relief Accounting Joke


8. Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes? Because they only have one scent.

Skunk Christmas Joke


9. What is the definition of “accountant”? Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand.

Accountant Definition Christmas Joke


10. What’s grey and not there? An accountant on holiday.

Grey Accountant Christmas Joke


11. Why do accountants make good lovers? They’re great with figures.

Accountant Lovers Christmas Joke


12. What is he definition of a good accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after them.

Good Accountant Christmas Joke


13. What’s the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows they’re boring.

Accountant Vs Lawyer Joke


14. Why was the accountant in rehab? Solvency abuse.

Accountant in Rehab Joke


15. What’s the difference between a bank and an angry rhinoceros? The bank charges more!

Bank fees joke


16. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.

Account with Opinion Joke


17. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days!

Advent their Joke


18. Why did the accountant fall off his bed? They didn’t have a balance sheet.

Account Fell Out of Bed Joke


19. How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels.

Christmas Dinner Brexit Joke


20. Have you heard the joke about the interesting accountant? No. Me neither.

Interesting Accountant Joke


21. Dad: Hey son, did you hear that new accounting joke?

Son: No?

Dad: It was accrual joke!

Dad and Son Accounting Joke


22. Where do elves hedge their bets? On the stocking exchange.

Elves Investment Christmas Joke


23. How does Santa Claus’ accountant value his sleigh? Net present value.

Santa Claus Sleigh Joke


24. What is the employment status of Santa’s helpers? Elf-employed.

Elf employed accounting joke


25. Why did Santa get in trouble with the tax man? He missed the deadline on his elf-assessment.

Elf-assessment accounting joke


Well, that it. A round of Santa-plause, please. 

Ok, we’re serious now. That’s all we’ve got!

What’s not a joke is the self-assessment tax return. The deadline is coming up on 31st January so get in touch if you need help with yours to avoid a late filing penalty. 

So, we have picked our brains to come up with our 25-best Christmas accounting jokes to brighten up your day. Unlike some other accountants, we promise we have a sense of humour as well as hard working staff, so why not see what services we offer for businesses and individuals.


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